Episode 37 - Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation is an independent 1994 slasher film starring Matthew McConaughey and Renee Zellweger. It could be seen as a very loose remake of the 1974 horror classic. It is infamously known as the TCM movie where Leatherface is a full-blown crossdresser, and literally none of the FOUR victim deaths happen via chainsaw. Plot A quartet of annoying high school students get killed one by one by a family of inbred morons in the most ass-backwards ways imaginable, while Leatherface turns into Thelma Harper from Mama's Family. Notable characters *Jenny *Vilmer Slaughter *Darla Slaughter *Leatherface Slaughter *Walter Slaughter *Rothman *Heather *Barry *Sean *Prom girl The Episode This was the "Halloween" episode for 2014. Scores James - Schumacher Damien - Ninnyhammer Highlights *Barry's lengthy list of douchebaggery *"Prostrate" cancer *Heather is the last of the Highlanders *Minimally Confused *Public access versions of AC/DC songs *Someone on a big wheel chasing after someone on a unicycle *If W.E. had misattributed all of his quotes to the wrong historical figures * Damien tries to use football analogously to the "plot" *Damien makes a stunningly accurate statement about the Miami Dolphins *"Oingo Boingo is the best part about any death fantasy." References *Dr. Tran *''The Texas Chain Saw Massacre'' *''The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2'' *''Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3'' *''Jerry McGuire'' *''Birdemic'' *''Friday the 13th'' (series) *Desmond Reddick *Ed Gein *Howard Cosell *''Alone in the Dark'' *Dana Carvey *George Will *Semisonic *Aerosmith *Zubaz *Surge *''The Last Airbender'' *Chumbawumba *Smash Mouth *Tonic *Everclear *Silverchair *Silversun Pickups *Stone Temple Pilots *Nirvana *''Star Wars'' *''Final Fantasy 7'' *''Who Framed Roger Rabbit'' *Nick Carter *Men At Work *Michael Jackson *The Village People *D Lo Brown *''Troll 2'' *''Showgirls'' *Metallica *''Dragonball Evolution'' *NOFX *John Cena *''The Simpsons'' *Soundgarden *Tool *Alice in Chains *Portishead *Tenacious D *''The Room'' *''Highlander'' *''Highlander 2'' *Chasey Lane *''Varsity Blues'' *James Van Der Beek *''GTA'' *Toxic Avenger *''Black Christmas'' *Kate Beckinsale *''Underworld'' *''Manos: The Hands of Fate'' *''The Rocky Horror Picture Show'' *Ryback *Jake Roberts *''Fight Club'' *Oingo Boingo *Right Said Fred *''Hellsing Ultimate'' *''Lost'' *''A Nightmare on Elm Street'' *''Halloween'' *''Hellraiser'' *Clive Barker *The Rock *Tripple H *Stone Cold Steve Austin *Trapper Keeper *''Alice in Wonderland'' *Audrey Hepburn *''Silent Hill'' *''Murder-Set-Pieces'' *The Killers *''The Crow: Wicked Prayer'' *Kristen Stewart *AC/DC *Skittles *Bridget Jones *Hell in a Cell *Little Caesar's *''Super Mario Bros.'' *''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles'' *The X-Men *''Family Matters'' *Reginald ValJohnson *''Mama's Family'' *''Cabin in the Woods'' *Franklin D. Roosevelt *Barney the Dinosaur *Ben Franklin *Socrates *Machiavelli *Barilla *Nintendo 64 *Chris Brown *Austin Powers *Parcheesi *''Psycho'' *Alfred Hitchcock *''A Talking Cat'' *Brock Lesnar *''The Legend of Chun-Li'' *''Ace Ventura: Pet Detective'' *The Miami Dolphins *Guns n Roses *Primus *Jeff Jarrett *TNA *One-armed chick *''Larger Than Life'' *Bill Murray *''Three Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain'' *''Monk'' *Tony Shalhoub *''Spider Games'' *The Royal Shakespeare Academy *''The Legend of the Titanic'' *Ronald Regan *Woodrow Wilson *''Thor'' *H.P. Lovecraft *''Dark of the Moon'' *The Lonely Island *Kristen Connelly *''Torque'' *''House of the Dead'' *''Robin Hood: Men in Tights'' *''Super Troopers'' *''Life of Brian'' *Abbott and Costello *''Texas Chainsaw 3D'' *''Hatchet'' *''Mortal Kombat'' *''Paranormal Activity'' *''Jason X'' *Kurt Angle *''Hellraiser: Revelations'' *Robert Englund *''The Omen'' *''DeadAlive'' *''A Nightmare on Elm Street'' *T.S. Elliott *Ernest Hemingway *''Batman and Robin'' *Nickelback *''Mortal Kombat: Annihilation'' *Mr. T *Power Rangers *Sonic the Hedgehog *''Console Wars'' *''Chrono Trigger'' *''Clockwork Night'' *''Daytona'' *''GI Joe'' *''Street Fighter'' *''Preadator'' *''Double Dragon'' *Kylie Minogue *''Red Shoe Diaries'' *Tony Jaa *''The Protector'' *''Zardoz'' *''Ecks vs Sever'' *''The Wicker Man'' *Godzilla *''Battlefield Earth'' *''The Wizard of Oz'' *''Catwoman'' *Sir David Lean *''Dr. Zhivago'' *''Lawrence of Arabia'' *''Avatar: The Last Airbender'' *Liu Kang *Edward Furlong *''The Crow'' *''Jason X'' *''GingerDead Man'' *''Thankskilling'' *''The Stuff'' *''Attack of the Killer Tomatoes'' *''Killer Klowns from Outer Space'' *''Poultrygeist'' *Ice Cream Man *Ron Howard *''Leprechaun: Back in the Hood'' *''Bloodrayne'' *''Resident Evil'' *''Bloodsport'' *''Batman Returns'' *Michael Jai White *''Spawn'' *''The Crow: City of Angels'' *WCW *''Twilight'' Tiradesverse tropes *Protagonists? - Jenny, Barry, Heather and Sean *Goof Troop - See above *Guy Banter - Barry, on the biggest, douchiest level imaginable *Center of the Universe - Vilmer *Nonsensical Title - The events of this movie might have taken place in Texas, but everything else in this title is completely false. There was no massacre, no deaths happen via chainsaw, and "The Next Generation" has no meaning whatsoever in the context of the "plot". *Box of kittens - Vilmer *Exposition fairy - Darla *SYMBOLISM!!! - Debatable, as the very end of the movie shows Marilyn Burns, the main character of the original TCM movie being wheeled through the hospital on a stretcher. We assume it was supposed to mean something, but we'll be damned if anyone knows what the fuck it was. *Nontendre - "What does this look like--green eggs???" *Palpatine and Vader - Rothman and Vilmer, respectively; Vilmer is the main villain the entire movie, but in the last ten minutes, they show him to be subserviant to some guy in a suit *There Are No Police - A cop walks right up behind Darla as she is standing at her open trunk, talking to Jenny, who is tied up in a garbage bag, and he doesn't demand to see what's in the trunk *Finer Cronies and Goons, Inc. - Based on what happens in the last ten minutes, the entire Slaughter family are apparently just toadies working for the "Illuminati" *High School High - The budget for this movie was so low, they couldn't even show a prom scene here *No one will like your character - W.E. quotes random historical figures to sound intelligent *Evil group laughter - More of an "evil group mock scream/laugh" *Five-Second Microcosm - Vilmer to Jenny: "You don't know what the hell you're doing." Ending song Before and After Previous episode: Episode 36 - Mortal Kombat: Annihilation Next episode: Episode 38 - Glitter Category:Episodes Category:Horror films Category:Independent films Category:Remakes Category:1994 films